It has been a long time since I wept in church, Lord. Today, I couldn’t help myself.
We were about to take communion. In a church we have attended only a few times. We have been visiting various churches in recent months. I have been asking You to lead us to the congregation You would have us call Home.
Could it be I now have Your answer?
My heart had already been warmed this morning by Your Spirit’s obvious presence in the pastor. His love for You. His love for his family. His love for people in general.
He said communion there was “open” to anyone who loves You, Lord, and wants to be like You. He directed us to the communion service outlined in the front of the hymnal.
We came to a time of confession — a prayer we were invited to pray out loud with him. The prayer used words like “we” and “us.” But in a split second, You moved me to make it personal — to say “I” and “me.”
So I would not just be reciting a group confession with my intellect, as if I were “hidden” in the crowd. So, instead, I would be speaking to You from the depths of my heart.
“For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Luke 6:45)
That’s when my tears began to fall. And my words choked in my throat; so much so, I could not speak them aloud. Because Your Holy Spirit revealed, yet again, two profound truths:
The depth of my need for You.
“… for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…” (Romans 3:23) and “… the wages of sin is death.” (Romans 6:23)
And the enormity of Your Unfailing Love for me.
“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:17-19)
How could my heart not overflow with awe and gratitude for You, Lord? My Rescuer. My Healer. Lover of my soul. My Forever Husband… Making Your Presence known to me — in me, around me, enveloping me — right there in church today!
How can I fully grasp the miracle of Your kindness and generosity to me, Lord… when I know the crumbs that fall from Your Table should rightly be beyond my reach? But they are not. And You have much more than crumbs for me.
You set before me a Forever Feast. You are my Forever Feast, precious Jesus — Bread of Life and Living Water. I eat…
… and I am satisfied.
There are bad cries and good cries… aren’t there, Lord? Today was one of the best.
Oh so gratefully,