I Heard Myself

There’s really something to that expression… isn’t there, Lord?

“I heard myself.”

You have been pulling me forward toward The Future.  Using the power of Vision to make this last season my best season.

One of the ways You have been doing this is in my marriage.  We have been married now for 27+ years.  (My first marriage — before I knew and loved You, Jesus — lasted five… but that’s another story).

Thanks to You, Lord, the word “divorce” is no longer in my vocabulary.  Not as a “shall not,” but as a “want not.”  Every marriage, I suspect, requires both commitment and hard work. And, thanks to You, Lord, I have been willing and able to embody more of both.

“Thanks to You, Lord.”  I say that a lot these days… because it’s true.

Over the years, I have grown “comfortable” in so many ways.  At its best, such “comfort” has meant deepening trust that has made many other blessings possible — greater vulnerability, leading to greater intimacy… and so much more.  Miracles, every one of them… thanks to You, Lord.  How else would this be possible for a once “terminally-wounded” radical feminist like me?

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:  The old has gone, the new is here!”  (2 Corinthians 5:17)

“Comfort,” however, can also settle into complacency.  It had… at least for me, at least a little.  Taking some things for granted.  Not always being or giving my best.

Your vision (and now mine) for my marriage has changed all that… hasn’t it, Lord?  Or, at least, it has set before me The Future toward which You are moving me.

“Until death parts us, I will become the best wife / life partner I can be to my dear husband.”

What does this “look like” for me?  Spending more quality time with him every day. Respecting him more and submitting more to his leadership.  Encouraging and building him up more every day, in his “love language” (acts of service).  Supporting and encouraging him in his spiritual journey.  Helping him discover and pursue his dreams, and their root source — his God-given Sweet Spot.

I have heard it said that doing something new 21 days in a row makes it a habit.  I’m beginning to think that might be true.  Because I have been repeating this vision (and some key “assignments” You have given me) every day for the last ten days.  Repeating them out loud.  And they are starting to get into my subconscious brain and my heart.

“Faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.”  (Romans 10:17)

Case in point.  One of my daily assignments from You is this:  “Whenever he suggests an activity for us, or makes a request of me, I will respond promptly and enthusiastically (not reluctantly).”

I have lost count of the number of times You have given me the opportunity to put this into practice!  Have I succeeded in this every time in these last ten days?  No.  Have I made progress?  Yes!  Has it made a difference in our relationship?  YES!!!

Because I heard myself.  No… I heard You, Lord — calling, inviting, empowering me forward. And because I have heard You, I have chosen differently in the “heat” of the moment.

WOW, Lord… This really works!!!

“Whoever wants to be My disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow Me.”  (Luke 9:23)


Abba’s Girl

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