Sometimes Truth hurts. Sometimes it needs to.
You reminded me of this Fact today, Lord. When You took me into the recesses of my memory. Back to The Day in 1977 when You saved me from suicide.
In my desperate state, I had gone to a counselor that day. For the very first time in my life.
For close to an hour, I cried my guts out to her. It was the very first time I had ever shared — with anyone — the cancerous pain I had bottled up inside me.
I will never forget her first words after I “vomited” a lifetime of anguish.
“So what are you going to do about it?”
I was FURIOUS! “What do you mean ‘what am I going to do about it?’ There’s nothing I can do about it!” I was a Victim, after all. Terminally broken. I couldn’t be fixed.
Or so I thought (believed) at the time.
I was livid when I left her office. I swore I would never go to another counselor in my life! My life, which I expected to be cut short. She certainly hadn’t given me any reason to stick around.
I went from her office to a class at the local community college. A class on “Assertiveness Training.” Another “self-help” lifeline I had grabbed onto when I registered two weeks earlier. I thought it might help me balance out my pendulum swings.
From steamroller aggression to doormat depression. Not a pretty sight.
But that night, everything changed. It was The Night of The Revelation.
Halfway through the class, The Revelation came to me in a flash of Insight. I had been living in total, pitch-black darkness. It was as if someone had flipped on the light switch. I didn’t know until a decade later who that “Someone” was. It was You, Lord.
“You don’t have to be a victim of what has happened to you in your life. Some things you can’t change, because they are history. But you can think other things, feel other things and do other things that are healthier for you and for the people around you.”
By Your Grace, Lord, I knew The Revelation was true. At the time, I didn’t know You had anything to do with it. But I didn’t have to know… did I, Lord? Because The Truth did its work, even though its Author was still hidden from me.
Turns out there was something I could “do” about my life. I could move forward, armed with The Revelation. I began to do just that… one step at a time. And my life did a “180.” From settling for death to Seeking LIFE.
A stranger — that counselor — had spoken Truth to me. It hurt me and angered me deeply in the moment. But You used it, Lord, as part of my journey of Healing. The Healing of a Lifetime. You used the wounds of a stranger to help my Healing begin… one baby step at a time.
I never did go back to see that counselor. At the time, I didn’t recognize or appreciate her value to my breakthrough. My feelings toward her for what I considered her “blatant insensitivity” might be more accurately described as wrath.
But would the wounding words of a friend be any different? Words we may not want to hear, but desperately need to hear? Words spoken by those who love us so much they are willing to risk even our wrath to speak Truth to us in love?
“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” (Proverbs 27:6)
You woke me up this morning with such words for a dear sister I love. Part of my Forever Family. A sister-in-Christ.
True words You wanted me to speak to her, with great love. Words she may not want to hear, but desperately needs to hear.
Words of Choices and Consequences. Words of Opportunity and Accountability. Words of Truth that counters lies. Words of Help that overcomes. Words of Strength that ensures Victory. Words of New Beginnings. Words of LIFE. Words of HOPE.
Your words, Lord. Your TRUTH. Your COMFORT. Your HELP. Your STRENGTH. Your LIFE. Your HOPE. All spoken with Your LOVE.
“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)
I sent the email to my friend, with the words I knew were from You, Lord. And I wondered: “How will she respond?” I thought of my wrath of long ago. And it became my prayer.
“Thank You, Lord, for Your invitation this morning to risk it all… for her Greater Good.”
Trusting Your heart — for me and my friend…