I have always been fascinated by that account, Lord. The night Jacob wrestled with You all night long.
He was on his way back to see his older brother, Esau. After years of separation. After Jacob had deceived their father, so he would give Jacob the blessing intended for Esau.
He feared Esau’s wrath. Jacob planned a strategy to shower Esau — hopefully, overwhelm him – with so many gifts, he would be inclined to let bygones be bygones.
That’s when Jacob encountered You, Lord. It is clear from the text that it was You and no one else. You said so Yourself.
“Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with man and have overcome.” (Genesis 32:22-32)
Why did he keep wrestling with You, God? To get Your blessing.
“I will not let You go unless You bless me.” (Genesis 32:26)
A “light bulb” went on in my brain yesterday. Like Sonshine breaking through dense cloud cover. I had to do the opposite of Jacob. I actually had to stop wrestling with You, so You could bless me!
I call it My Un-Jacob Moment.”
The details of the issue at hand are not as important as The Epiphany.
I had been heading in a particular direction that seemed right to me. I know it is the direction You have been leading me, Lord. Yet I had run down the path ahead of You. And You had been trying to tell me to back up.
I didn’t want to back up. I thought I had “been there” and “done that.” I thought I had gone past Parts A and B and was already cruising through Part M on the way to Destination Z.
So instead of following You, I was wrestling with You… without realizing it. But unlike Jacob, You couldn’t bless me while I was wrestling. I had to stop… and let You redirect my steps. Because only in that redirection could the blessing spring forth.
And spring forth it has!!!
I’m revisiting Parts A and B now. Whole seasons of my life, full of gifts and gifted-ness from You. Seasons I had rejected as “old news.” Seasons You are resurrecting into New Life.
So I can be fully prepared for all You have called me to be and do.
“For [I] am [Your] handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which [You] prepared in advance for [me] to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)
Forgive me, Lord, for wrestling with You — against You — for so long… even unwittingly! Thank You for contending so patiently with me… because You have contended so powerfully for me!
“If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all — how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:31-32)
I can hardly wait to discover where this Un-Jacob Moment will take us, Lord… together!
Abba’s Girl